Fear the Accounting Department

Seriously... every time I see M the Accountant, I tremble. *shudder* The mere thought of it - man, freaks me out.

He walks in - tall and ... indian - with the usual - some sheets of papers - superbly organised, staring at me as he walks in. His not-too-clear-looking eyes never leaving me, he starts "hey Sue..."

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo what did I ever do wrong, Dear Father Jesus?!

He continues - each word taking about 10 seconds to come out *he stutters* - with the same creamy-eyed gawk, most times with an extra smack while talking due to the incessant mint in his mouth. He not only stutters like crassy... he also speaks for no one - most times not even the person he's speaking to - to hear.

Now, don't get me wrong... I gave the guy a fair chance initially - thought he was just one of those quiet but funny and sarcastic dudes. Well, yah - his humour was initially quirky... then, it got to be gross and inappropriate, and now, I can no longer tolerate... well... just about anything that has his face on it - especially him.

Imagine - my boss wants me to do another file of the same budget, changing one of the plant's downtime - basically just to compare the two to see which is more feasible or whatever. Naturally, this leads to a change in production, energy consumption, yadda yadda.... right? Whew... d'uh. Anyways... so, I MISTAKENLY *oooh what a mistake* told M the Acc. that on Friday (yesh - mi burfday) - well, he asked if I could help him with something at 3:20pm (yesh - 10 minutes before Zupa's hometime) and I told him what I was then busy doing. Anyways... he goes on:

Oh, so the production is going to change?

Er... no, this is for L to just compare which seems more realistic.

Ah! Ok... so do you think it's going to change?

Um... well, I can't say... she just asked for me to do these calc's

Oh... I see... so more than likely it's going to change...

That's the thing - I don't know.

Hm... cuz then we'd have to change our records

M - the budget hasn't been presented it... hence the reason L wants to compare and make final touches - she's the boss

Oh, so the production is going to be different?



No... seriously... imagine this, with massive stutterings, standing over you for a good 20 minutes well. By the time I tried (but apparently failed) to get the point across, it was already near 4... and Zupa wanted to go out for a drink with the coworkers.

I sent the budget files at 4:30pm - Friday 25th August - to my boss.

7:30am Monday morning:

Hey Sue... any word yet on the changes?

Er... no M... L isn't even here yet.

Hmm... ok, so maybe like what time so I can check you again?

*Why bother to ask? You're going to come every hour anyways*

Give me til before lunch... I'll check with L.

He came at 10... at 11:30... at 12:30... at 1:15... I swear...

2:35am Monday afternoon, L comes into the office:

Sue - we're going with the __ days

L exits.

M enters almost 1 split second after she leaves my desk:

So we changing production?

Yes...

How so... like, what we gonna do...

M... I will send you the file to review... ok? It's done already.

Oh ok... so production went down by like how much so?

I'm sending it to you right now... everything's there.

Lo and behold - 10 minutes after he comes in with a hardcopy of the new budget - "Hey Sue..."


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Blah blah... I explain some figures that he needed clarification on.

Ah ok... thanks

Nada

Half hour later, same question.

This happens at least 2 times before my unimpressed drab and dry look takes over.

I come this morning and within the hour, I get a call from his supervisor - Sue, can you come explain these (same) figures to me?


They both sit in his office, while the supervisor goes over the calculations on the spreadsheet I sent... No talking, just him going through the SELF EXPLANATORY spreadsheet, nodding while reading.

I. - perhaps I can come back... morning report due.

*Slight nod*

Ooof... I think I am beginning to fear M the Acc. more than I fear lizards.







*Zuper goes back into budgetland... Mark-free*