Trust

It's amazing how many times you get burnt, and you still ain't learnt.

What's wrong with me?!

Seriously though... why is it that everytime I get close to someone, put a certain amount of trust in them and our relationship that I still am always shocked when they do something off-key?

Is the lesson to learn 'TRUST NOONE'? I'd hate to be that way... it's lame to be cynical.

It's happened in every single meaningful relationship I've had... with my mom, my sister, my first lover... and now, my boss.

Now, each and every episode has been a complete learning experience - you develop a better understanding for the person and where you stand with them, and this is for a good, surely. So I'm not complaining about the happenings of it... but rather my bloody reaction and my not expecting it!

My boss is talking not great stuff - in fact, damaging stuff - behind my back. Now, the issue is a real issue, so it's not like I expected her to NOT see it... however, perhaps by telling me in the mature and honest fashion that we do everything else with... PERHAPS I'd appreciate that more than the slander.

I regret so many things now, but I'm happy that it actually got back to me so that I do know exactly what I can and can't say around her, as well as how she thinks about me. It's awful, because she already knows so much - she's been such a good friend in even my personal issues. But like the BIG HAPPENING (i.e. the Brent happening), it HAPPENED...

Gone... past.

I can't change that.

What I CAN change is my reaction to it.

Naiveness is so lame. Scheisse *said in the Germanest way possible*. It's also harder to get out of than I thought.






*Zuper zingz the Joe Public song... "you've got to live and learn... before your bridges burn, you've got to live and learn"*