What I really want

Have you ever sat in silence for 10 minutes or so and thought about exactly what you want?

Seems silly - right? But seriously... what do I want?

Thing with that question is that after you've figured it out, you sorta look at yourself - your life - and see if you are aligning your path with that of trekking to what you want.

I've always envisioned myself to be a way... a certain way by the time I'm 18, 20, 25, 30, 40... three of those have past and I'm not keen on my alignments to my goals.

Truth is, I'm not unhappy... I forgive myself for foolish decisions, but I don't think they were too destructive, however they just weren't where I thought I should be.

But why am I surprised? All those tiny decisions - to sleep half hour extra this morning, to date a bad-boy, to attend a local University - those tiny things that have helped me (get a bit extra rest today, learn what a really good guy is supposed to be... while having a little fun, and getting a super-Masters degree)... well, they've all led to me being here! Just right here, right now.

Those same things, though, have led me here... right here, right now... fatter than I could have been, broken-hearted and with possible trust issues still, and grabbing the first job shot at me because the stigma that surrounds going to a local Uni... (long story on that one...).

This has led me to really start thinking - ok Zue... you're 26 now... where do you see yourself before hitting 27? 30? 40? How do you want to look, what do you want to be doing, how do you want to feel?

I've pointed out a couple things thus far... and some of them are compromised alignments... they're paths that lead to the same goal, just on a slightly more twirly, bumpy route. And with the experience I've had thus far, I think those bumps are just inevitable... in fact... they should be desirable! Still not to hot on the twirls... still working that out (anybody have Gravol?!?!)

Think of a bow and arrow... how the heck am I to hit my target without first aligning and aiming that mofo arrow, and then proceeding to stretch that mofo bow beyond its comfy limit? Taut and tense... if you just aim and align the arrow, it will go nowhere... well, it may fall to the floor or stay still (depending on if you keep it in your hand or not), but it certainly will go nowhere near your target.

So Zue... got your targets?

...well... I think I got a couple... gotta still think about them some more...

Ready to align yourself?

Uh... I said to let me think some more!

Alright... well, that's just a reminder to the next step... Reposition Yourself, Woman!

And don't forget... down the road there'll be pulling and tugging and tension... but it's what is required to propel you to that goal.






Zue zips off to having a 10 minute meeting with herself... hope she doesn't have a .ppt to go with it!