F.U.B.A.

You know who you are
This is for you

Hmmm, yeah, ooh yeah, ohh
I thought I knew who you were
I see now you were a lesson to learn
And all I am to you now is a bridge that's been burned

Now I was the first to believe
I made you part of my musical dream
And your thanks to me, came without an apology, yeah

We wrote Loving Me 4 Me, Don't Walk Away
Can't Hold Us Down, all part of our history
Don't forget Infatuation, I'm a Fighter
Feeling Underappreciated

Yeah, this song is for you to remind you
That I moved on, sang my songs,
I've got no regrets
Mmhmm, ohh Hope it all was worth it, uh

Looks like I didn't need you
Still got the album out
Ha

Ca ca lay lay

Err... ok.

Anyways... here are some zupa words - all taken out of different books by De Man himself - Paulo Coelho. Different ones strike me at different times, but they are all zuperb. For now, the one etched in my mind is the last one (in bold red) - which one hits you the hardest, today?

...


Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.

You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.

You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.

But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.

We have to stop and be humble enough to understand that there is something called mystery.

The two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip; to avoid this, the warrior treats each situation as if it were unique and never resorts to formulae, recipes or other people's opinions.

A warrior of light who trusts too much in his intelligence will end up underestimating the power of his opponent.

Beauty is the greatest seducer of man.

They were seeking out the treasure of their destiny, without actually wanting to live out their destiny.

The biggest mistake of the man is that he thinks he doesn't deserve the good and the bad things from his life.

The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation. All things are one. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

Why do we have to listen to our hearts? Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure.

Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.


Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.




*Zupa zingz... "whattcha waitin', wattcha waitin' forrrr... tic toc tic toc tic toc tic toc... take a chance you stupid ho"*

Kiss my eyes...

and lay me to sleep.

This is what I brought you, this you can keep
This is what I brought you may forget me
I promise to depart, just promise one thing
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep

This is what I brought you, this you can keep
This is what I brought you may forget me
I promise you my heart, just promise to sing
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep

This is what I thought, I thought you need me
This is what I thought so think me naive
I promise you a heart, that you promised to keep
Kiss me eyes and lay me to sleep
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep


Denial is a heck of a thing... isn't it? It's amazing how the human mind works - I'm sure you can choose to believe or not believe anything. Perhaps both intentional or not, and maybe even as a self-protective thingie... you deny it, choose to believe whatever is easier to handle, thus keeping you in that constant stage of being blindly confused.

That has to be the worstest feeling, like, ever.

Or not.

What really is the truth, man? Like - what can be regarded as the absolute truth? We all have biases, and so I do not believe any one of us can state "so and so" to be the pure truth. It's so frustrating.

I grew up with 5 elder siblings - each with his/her own strong personality and character. I admired each and everyone... and could actually mimic them to the T. They "took me under their wing" - or whatever. So around A, I'd be a... next to B, I'd be b... and so on - and of course I loved and lived to please them...

This was fine when I was 5... or even 12.

Now I'm (oh dear God...) 23 and I find myself still doing it. I want to please each and every one of them.

Wipe away all the nitty gritty... who am I? Yuh know?

Here's the breakdown...

Eldest - super-Christian, Literature and Tea-lover.
Second - goer-of-parties, center-of-attention, Ms. Considerate.
Third - Fitness maniac, math-brainiac, perfectionist-iac and disciplined-iac.
Fourth - Laid back, reader, Mr. Sarcastic, traveller, appreciator of cultures.
Fifth - Mr. Street, Mr. Cool, Mr. Herb (hehe)


So what does that make me?

A disciplined, (too?) kind-hearted, math-loving Christian who appreciates excellent literature, especially while drinking tea and travelling - staying street-smart with laid-back coolness, critiquing most imperfections - especially pertaining to my own fitness level and body.

P.S. - NOT while smoking the Herb, eh!

Woof!



*Zuper... drink yuh damn coffee and hush up! Like you really need some herb... hehe*

I might be a way...

everybody likes to say,
I know what you're thinking about me.
There might be a day,
you might have a certain way,
but you don't have my luxuries...

And it's me, I know, I know my name cuz I say it proud,
Anything I want I always do.
Looking for the right track,
Always on the wrong track
But
Are you catching all these tracks that I'm laying down for you.

There's a song I've been listening to up all night,
There's a voice I am hearing saying 'it's alright',
When I'm happy I am sad
But everything's good
It's not that complicated
I'm just misunderstood



I miss K... so badly. She'd be in physically closer to me (in B'dos) sometime soon, but I miss her terrribbllyyy.... ooof.

Things are changing for my friends... change is so strange. I'm kinda down, yet excited... so mixed.

M resigned and has taken a decisive turn - still in progress... K is on the big wide blue... and I'm happy, yet it's so strange...

I hate stagnation, but change is funny - weird-funny, no ha-ha-funny.

The only change I've made recently is my diet. Boring in comparison :) ne? But zuper-necessary.

Heisse scheisse...

Lame.

I'm 23.

Lamer.

And I'm bored.

More lamer.




*Zuper sings: Would you feel slighted if I said your love is not enough... how can I complain... how can I complain when I'm the one who reaches for it*

Rumours

Today my boss came in to talk with the entire crew... she heard some "shop talk" and was disturbed by it. *It concerned - and affected, apparently - members of the department* She went around circle asking each and every one of us if we had heard it and if so why hadn't we told her anything.

"Yes, I heard that... but it's just small talk... why come back to you with every tiny thing we hear? People say lots of things"

That was the usual response each of the guys gave her.


Sure... but she was trying to instill the two s-words into our group - sensitivity and sensibility.

We all noticed a fellow member of the Proc. Eng. team isolating himself and being all down and stuff... but I for one didn't know a thing.

Sue - you heard anything of the sort?

Er... no. Don't think things like that would come back to me.

True... guess you're not part of the shop.

Hehe...

Anyways...

The rumour did come back and hit a member of the department - the same guy. Being the boss, she, too, wouldn't hear this shop talk - unless one of us tells her. But those who knew, didn't. And this rumour wallowed and swam and fished about this guy's head and got to him. For weeks.

Talk, people... talk!

It's too late to stop the effect, but we can still get the truth out there and clear some air - though the rumour - by this time - is so widespread already, it could act as the truth in the absence of it.

Even him (just happens to be nose-digger)... why didn't he go with his problem to her himself?

Gosh... imagine it got bent and twisted out of all proportions before it got back to him - with the issue already there from the start.

Me? Pressure for my boss, cuz I tell her EVERY-FLIPPIN'-THING that affects me now. If my toenail hurting:

Liz... I have an issue I'd like to discuss with you.

*Issue of toenail discussed*

Bam - finished. Cleared the air... got it off my chest (or toe).

Random - I should look up to see if there is anything new on TOEs (Theory of Everything - TOE).

Yadda yadda...

We ran Scotiabank's 5k Women Against Breast Cancer on Saturday... me zizters joined in avec moi et me company.



Me - being zo zmart - didn't eat well and went out in the hot sun to run. Let's just say that my time was 36 mins... yep - a second behind Granny Lucess. We talked even:




Oh dear - the sun hot eh.

Yeah boy... you have water?

Na *Granny shrugs off Zue and continues steadily*

Granny... next event.... it's ON!

Other than that...

Work lame... I lame... you lame. Lame.







*ZuperZue is back into OCD land... Heyyy Miss Murder can I...?*

Miss Murder

Heyyyy Miss Murder can I?
Heyyy Miss Murder can I?
Maaaake beauty stay if I
take my life... oooohhhh




Music Video Code By Urbnmix.net

afi - miss murder

Bester song!

So... oof... I had a tiff with that witch of a landlady... she kept coming into the place, yadda yadda... so I told her I'm leaving.

I did.

She took my key.

And didn't return my security deposit.

Next step?

Spoke with a lawyer.

Got to get a Police officer to go to her place.

Or should I just drop it all.

Last night the stress of it all kept me up almost all night... I felt to cry, scream... kill.

I called her several times... she hung up.

All these things are learning experiences... I know. But...

Vengence is the Lord's.

Oi.




*Zuper zwoops back into her little down mood... thank God for good music*

Nexx bess song!

Music Video:BUT IT'S BETTER IF YOU DO (by Panic At The Disco)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Full house

Yep - full full. My sister is waaay too accommodating... I already have so much to repay her for.

My *now former* landlady is a nut. A little, squibbly nut. Now, it's one thing to be coming into the apartment twice a month to "clean", but after seeing the horrid job the "cleaning man" did and requesting that that service end (I could clean, right, K? *if you dare say anything otherwise... your white ras is mine once you hit B'dos!), she comes with "Fine... but I would still need to come in at least every other week to check on the place".

Er... no eh.

I thought nothing much of it... I'm barely ever home, so it did no harm. Kinda. Well... a bit... it is erkie thinking of someone just in your space. Woof.

Then Miss (land) Lady decide to come to do repairs - retiling the place. Err... yep, but in the kitchen. No real big.

Until...

One day, tired as ras with the mindset to hit the gym for the 5pm class, I see Miss LL come with a workerman to START doing work... at that hour (4:30pm).

"Ms. Knights... allyuh now comin' to do work?"

"Yes"

Blood boiling up a storm... I couldn't think. I just took my bag back up, and headed to my sister's place... After my mind settled, I realised how uncool that was, and decided that I would move as soon as the contract is up (in 1 month)...

Until...

After having a few margaritas with my coworkers (and boucing up Parrot's sis... yep, another German-Trini back on d' Island!), I headed home for a nice nap... but, err... both locks on my door locked.... I only lock one of them. Hmm... But before realising that and real tryin' to open the one (usual) lock - door seemingly stuck... ring ring Ms. LL:

"Ms. Knights... I can't get into the apartment"

"Of course you can... you have all the keys"

"Err... both locks are locked... wait... you were here today?"

"Yes... "

"Ms. Knights! WHY?! I had no idea you'd be here"

"Sue-Ann, a few weeks ago I told you we'd be doing repairs"

"You said for that DAY! So I prepared for that day..."

She's irritated now, apparently "Sue-Ann! Is that why you left your handbag on the couch"

"Ms. Knights... honestly... I left my bag there because I was rushing to work **As if I really would do that to spite her... and ...er... why?** ... now I don't even know if my bedroom door is locked.... this is silly Ms. Knights... you coming in at odd hours, without letting me know, like that time you woke me up calling my name at 5:54am to collect rent... just opened the door and come by my bedroom door... "

"What?! I never did that... "

"Umm.. you did... my alarm that's set for 6:00am didn't even go off yet and I had to scamper for clothes because you were already propped on the couch and calling my name outside my bedroom door... not even a call to let me know you would like to come... nada"

Silence on the other end

"We aren't doing each other favours Ms. Knights... I pay for your service... "

*Did she hang up?*

"Look... the moment I get this door opened is the moment I move out"

*Oh, she just hung up*

And I did.

Now, I live with my sister and her two kids, in the same "building" with my cousin and his wife, my bro and his girlfriend and son, and my cousin with her son... oh yeah, completely full house.

And I love it - crowds are friends to someone with 6 siblings.





*Zue!!! It's Montag! Get back to work!*