Trust

It's amazing how many times you get burnt, and you still ain't learnt.

What's wrong with me?!

Seriously though... why is it that everytime I get close to someone, put a certain amount of trust in them and our relationship that I still am always shocked when they do something off-key?

Is the lesson to learn 'TRUST NOONE'? I'd hate to be that way... it's lame to be cynical.

It's happened in every single meaningful relationship I've had... with my mom, my sister, my first lover... and now, my boss.

Now, each and every episode has been a complete learning experience - you develop a better understanding for the person and where you stand with them, and this is for a good, surely. So I'm not complaining about the happenings of it... but rather my bloody reaction and my not expecting it!

My boss is talking not great stuff - in fact, damaging stuff - behind my back. Now, the issue is a real issue, so it's not like I expected her to NOT see it... however, perhaps by telling me in the mature and honest fashion that we do everything else with... PERHAPS I'd appreciate that more than the slander.

I regret so many things now, but I'm happy that it actually got back to me so that I do know exactly what I can and can't say around her, as well as how she thinks about me. It's awful, because she already knows so much - she's been such a good friend in even my personal issues. But like the BIG HAPPENING (i.e. the Brent happening), it HAPPENED...

Gone... past.

I can't change that.

What I CAN change is my reaction to it.

Naiveness is so lame. Scheisse *said in the Germanest way possible*. It's also harder to get out of than I thought.






*Zuper zingz the Joe Public song... "you've got to live and learn... before your bridges burn, you've got to live and learn"*

Presssssshhhh-ah!

Fadda lawd 'ave muuursee!

DAT is a long-ras break, eh?!

All kinda ting went on... all kinda mudda-so-an-so ting.

Karlita come and gone from B'dos and I let her white ras gone without seeing it... shrimps man.

Iz a new year... and not a darn new thing. You know, I was hoping that all sorts-a things woulda be worked out for 2007... everything is the same... i.e. my perspective on things is the same. Woof. Things didn't magically change, nor did things quietly sort itself out... as I had planned and hoped for.

And I'm still living.

Though I woulda still liked to sit with my bag of popcorn and munch away as I watch the story of my life work its way through, without me doing much more than me giggling here and there and, of course, reaching in that darn bag and stuffing my face with buttery goodness.

No such luck. But as I said... I'm still alive. Amen.

Latest is... yuh girl gone down south to some wag-a-who fete (Geeeesus lawd!) ... let's just say that I stood out - who knew the dresscode was "anything as small as possible on the boobs, as short as possible on the butt, and tall as possible on the feet"... I certainly missed that VITAL memo - me with my jeans and tank top with slippers. One kick of a bottle in the crowd and Zuper has a sliced big toe.

I enjoyed every single moment of it... seriously. It was truly an experience... and the lime was super - and Machel is just mega-zuper this year.

I'm also playing mas...


"ah cah waaaiiit... ah cah waaaiiitttt... ah cah wait for Mon&Tues morrrninnnnn".


































*Zuper flies off into ze vorld ov vork... hopefully for not as long as last time!*