Creation and Evolution

So, I went on that ... dare I say... date with Mr. B.J. I so enjoy his company. We first headed for a cuppa, then for some fingerfood and drinks at The Bight - just outside on the patio overlooking the sea and the boats and the scenic... *hehe*... oil rigs.

Oh, and the dinner on Friday... jeez an' ages... crab backs and coconut shrimp in tamarind and plum sauce. Woof! ZuperZcrum-shus!

Mr. B. always fascinated me... I dunno... though he's not a Christian, he's the best Christian I know. Yep - he lives a Christian life (the real kinda logical one - not the "religious spirited" one), though he doesn't know it. He always had a mind and - perhaps - heart of a great wise man. Of course, in keeping with that, he doesn't think so at all, and is one of the most humble people. I even remember him, especially at school, really beating down on himself (not externally, though... he's very introverted in his behaviour) for very simple and tiny errors... of course that being the very reason he'd get down on himself.

He really hasn't changed much... still simple, still great. I think it shocked me more that it shocked him that I could actually follow just a tip-of-the-iceberg amount of the "math terms" he threw at me... Cauchy and Riemann, you made me look good.

Then, of course, we talked about Christianity... the boy seemed so relieved that I wasn't a "there is no other book than the Bible!" sorta follower of Christ. It's kinda bad, though, that he did think I was like that all this time! It finally hit him, though, when we were talking about the great book - The Final Quest - and the visions the man had had... he turned to me:

One question... *B.'s serious face*... was he on acid?

Well, I couldn't help but giggle... kinda caught me off-guard.

Hehe... well, who knows - perhaps. And - let me just say - thank God for his acid usage cuz I got a great message out of it!

He so didn't expect that response, apparently... he even said he thought I'd be all "What?!?! Never! No way!!".

Anyways, so we talked about Creation vs. Evolution... and the combination therein *what's it called again, B?* I really am not well read on this, though... so again me feels like a mocks. Hehe...

You know, when you think about it, we were all basically trained to think like evolutionists (like, we grew up learning that - basically - everything operated as we view it today - geological and biological stuff-wise)... however, even though the Bible sorta teaches "differently", religious beliefs still reign. So, I guess it would make sense to combine the two... I just never really thought about it (my belief in God's creation is too strong to just give up and believe in evolution soley) nor read about it... B and K always have some zuperkuhl issues and ideas.

Other than that, I ate like a pig all weekend long (thanks Suz!), went to Church and laughed my ras off (the Pastor is so zuper... such a great sense of humour - he was talking about Esther at the time... and he was saying that she thought she was in a beauty pagaent basically- parading for the king, and he did the walk saying "if yuh see Esther walk"... man, that set me off), played Boogle until 10pm and time to hit the road to Chag chag.



*Zuper realises how little she got done for the day... ah well, tomorrow's a holiday, and guess who's the lucky one to work? Man... zuper... you livin' da life*

Eine woche!

Ja ja... ich weisssssssssssss... it's been just about (ok, over!) a week.

But ich war in training from Montag to Thurs-tag... from 8am - 4pm. Let me be more precise... ich war in a very tediously monotonous training session. Woof. I mean, the guy (instructor) knows his stuff - no lie - but the scope was so broad and so - er - uninteresting to go into such depth and hop and skip all over the place - who doesn't prefer consistency?

Oi... that brings something else to mind - and in going with this blog entry (hopping and skipping, aren't I?) - I AM THAT MAN! I am probably the most inconsistent, horribly in-un-dis-decisive person you could meet! Geez... it's frustrating... (think I'm schizo?)

Why the heck did I go to fricking IUB? Holy cowunga... I've gotten a taste of ... something... and I just cannot be content without it. I love Trinidad... I love the weather, the beaches, the culture... but... but... (BUT WHAT?!)

Darnit...

You know when you have an image in your head of how things should be... yet the reality barely matches?

I'm seriously thinking of a huge change... I am giving myself until the end of my 22nd year of life (24th of August, to be exact)... if some hope is not injected into my life (or perception thereof) by then, on August 25th, 2006 I am going to change my hair and organise to hit the road... more specifically, make plans for the working-holiday visa (UK).

If hope - some kind of hope - surfaces, then I'd give myself (or 'it') until the end of the year... if hope doesn't bud a fruit, English plan it is.

Signed and sealed.

Why blog this info? Perhaps to remind myself - you know, when the Ann comes out and Sue takes a rest...

**'Split personality' by Pink starts to play... - "Tell me what do they see when they look at me... do they see my many personalities... ooh ooh oh... Can you help me, does anyone hear me... can they even see me, this is my reality, oh oh... So I'm putting it all on the table... you don't know me well enough to label me sick or even disturbed, when you break it down I'm just two girls... trying to blend trying to vibe *trying*... trying to live just one life *it's so hard!* everybody's got insanities, I've got a split personality"**

Oi...

So, I have something to look forward to tomorrow... something I've been looking forward to for such a long time. I am finally meeting up with (not boucning up) one of my favourite persons... B.J. (oh like Barney!!! "BJ is the one!") . We have no real plans, other than meeting up intentionally. I wonder if he knows that I'm going to propose, have his babies and love him for the rest of my life? Hmm... well, he'd find out soon enough.





*Zu zooms off to dinner... our boss is going back to the States... and we'd miss him more than ever....*

Of Men and ... Milkshakes

Yessiree... we did it. Berto and I had our date...

I mean, I just couldn't not go... the dude called me everyday for the week to make sure I got it - yes, we are still on, Berto. He even called Saturday morning while I was at the gym - leaving me 3 voicemails, and had my stepdad call me too! "Sue-Ann? You have a date with my son today?" hehe... I guess he was excited :) *yuh tink?*

So, Saturday started with an attempt at spin class... I got there on time - 9:00am for the 9:15am class... the instructor decided that even though the class is waiting, she could take her time and ole talk her way all over the gym... finally making the class 15 minutes later. I got so pissed, I cancelled my booked bike and headed to the floor to do arms and shoulders instead. I really detest inconsideration. The gym was so empty so it really was good. Even now my arms pain.

After this, I headed for my date. Roberto decided to invite my nephew, Dave, and we all headed first to the mall for lunch, then grocery shopping et al, then to the zoo. We had a blast.

We got home, made our strawberry milkshakes and totally enjoyed it.

Then church on Sunday, then sit and be lazy for the rest of the day :)



Anyways, I finished reading the second book to The Final Quest - called The Call. These books really are fantabulous. A line that I just can't forget from this book is:

Good is the greatest enemy of Best.

Wawch.

I mean, we say it in different ways all the time - "settling for...", etc... but it all comes down to the fact there is this huge gap between average and great. It ain't no fine line... at all. It is, however, ever so easy to settle for being just average... and this perhaps is not a bad thing... it is even desirable most times - hence it being commonplace. But those you get a piece of greatness - through whatever experiences, direct or not - they know how ... er... great it is, but to get to that place is full of all these sacrfices and battles that most turn back before attempting to go the extra mile and think - "you know what? I rather stay right here where I'm comfortable". That deadly horrid place - a comfort zone... *shudders*. To me, this place is worse than any Twilight Zone. Dude.

But, like most things I fear and detest, I found it in myself... yessir - I am getting used to my liddle C.Z. I'm not particularly elated about where I am, but neither am I too uncomfortable... I'm... ok (ok = average?!).

Why take risks?

Because the rewards are far greater.

Suppose I fail?

Then so be it. And so what... you get back up. It ain't ever really do or die.

I gotta listen to myself sometimes.





*Zue vooms back into that horrid C.Z.... when will she take her next risk? When will Zue taste the sweetness of taking charge? Stay tuned, on the Adventures of ZuperZue!*

Dere is a floooood on de mainroad, woh-ee-oo-ee-oh on de mainroad

Wo Ataklan! Lyrix!
That song has been going through my head ever since I saw him last night.

Zuper went to Karaoke Night for the first time at 51 Degrees yesterday with a random bunch of people - well, friends of my friend (not that random). I love Karaoke! Now, mind you... I always knew this... my bro gave my mom a Karaoke machine for Christmas, and alllllllllllllll day long for weeks after the holidays I'd be the mistress of the mike. Heck, even before that, I would blast Alanis in my roomie's ear (hehe - remember, K?) and sing to the top of my lungs... so a Karaoke night was just heaven for me :)

So - weekend plans? Yup - big ones. My baby bro and I have a date... all day on Saturday. First thing: we get lunch. Then, we go to the grocery to get what is on his grocery-list to make milkshakes - one of his many favourite things. We should then get some DVD's and head home to prepare the shakes to settle in, slurping away while we watch our movies.

I can't wait. I love that dude like crassy.

I've been number crunching for the past two days - budget preparing. Just got back from the meeting to present my number crunching results... to find out that I need to crunch some more. I'm so excited (said like Cat in The Hat - British accent and all)!

I sent my bro this pic... he says: You do realise you pull the same face for every pic?

Er... yeah, I kinda do :D



*Zue gets back to the final number crunchings before the blessed weekend!*

How easy it is to slip...

... off of that cliff. We ALLLL know that if you touch fire, you get burnt... yet we place our fingers ever so closely just to see how much it could burn.

Every day I put my makeup on in the car while in traffic getting to work... why? I dunno... Not that I am late for work and hustle out of the house, nor is it a lack of time or anything - just a bad habit. So - I'm almost done... just looking for that eyeshadow I love... when BAM! Yep - I rolled right into the guy in front of me... I usually almost run into the car in front of me, but always look up just in time to slam on the brakes. Well, not this time.
I was so stupefied (stupid?) that I just froze - didn't come out the car, didn't even reverse... just looked like a dummie... The guy came out, looked at his back bumper (when I finally reversed) and just looked around... after about 15 secs he just showed me a hand movement to mean "forget about it". I was scarrrrrrrrrrred and I think it showed. Woof.

I always hear about this happening... and thought that I could never be THAT distracted to actually hit anyone. And how many times does something have to almost happen before we get the point - DON'T STICK YOUR FINGER IN FIRE, DUDE! Geez... It can almost happen 1,000,000,000,000... times and we STILL don't get it... know why? Cuz it never really happened! I guess it has to burn to learn. Oi.

This follows into most things, though... we take things way for granted. Remember Grenada? How many times has a hurricane almost destroyed them? Too many... however, only after getting hit by Ivan they (Grenadians) now take precautions whenever the hurricane season arises... No matter how many times one is told to "beware", how many times do we actually take it on? Cuz it can never happen to you, right? How wrong we can be...

On another note - me cooks! And me cooks kinda wells! Yep - after the spin and abs class, yuh girl drive to Xtra Foods and got herself some chicken, rice and peas... and I stewed them all - voila - lunch for the next two days! I have to stop putting so much curry in every meal I make though... my stew came out just a little too curry-yellow to be really a stew. Hermmm...

So - I have an interview with the International School next week... yep - to be a Teacher. I - all of a sudden - am not that enthused anymore. Too much opportunity/events/progression/money in oil - wanna stay in it. But to do whaaaaaaaaaat?


*The confusion saga continues... next time, on The Adventures of ZuperZue!!*

Ok, I get it!!

Ahhhh!! Yes yes! I get it!!! I have some things to learn!!! Jeeeeez.

My sis and I were talking over the weekend about situations we find ourselves in... what is the purpose of it all? And when will it change? We came up with this - in situations where we find ourselves facing difficulties, it really isn't about the other persons involved, nor is it about any other external thing you can find - though this is the almost immediate reaction. Rather, it's about YOU. And more than likely, the situation would not 'change' unless you get the point!

To me, it's God's way of 'teaching' us.

But you know what... I GET IT!! I have things to overcome!

What doesn't kill will make you stronger... or even better: What doh kill does fatten, and what doh fatten does purge! At least I hope so...

A small incident - we all know by now that I am treated differently in my department... I have been asking for an umbrella (you know, those nice big company ones...) for some time now... nada. I got upset and grudged at 'this blasted place', as I usually do - with the telephone, the training... and more recently, with my PC (more on that later). Yesterday, it was raining yet again (rainy season), and I just decided in a mild, unangry state-of-mind, that I would go buy an umbrella today. I mean, I wasn't cursing my company for ignoring my plea, I was genuinely like "oh, you know what? I should get an umbrella before I get ill again" kinda thing... calm, collected, and finally over the grudge. I visited my brother after going to see Click last night (such a nice movie) to pick up some laundry I left at his place, and just like that he asked "you want an umbrella?" "Oh, no it's fine... I'll run to the car, thanks", I replied. "No no... I don't mean now, I mean would you like an umbrella... as in to keep - I got loads of extras". I wasn't expecting it, and was stunned and so appreciative... it was so symbolic.

A small example, but it taught me a principle... yes, I get it... until I get a grip and let anger and strife go, I won't progress. Geez.

The most recent of work issues - PC upgrades... everyone's getting it. I mean, everyone. In fact, these things are so monstrous - fastest of fast, storage like a frickin' server! However, when my PC crashed (dunno what went on... I came in on Sunday to get a figure for the Big Boss and pow - no connection to the server... ah well), and there was no way to repair it, what does Zuper get? I get Dell to come in to repair it. Nope - no upgrade - no new monster, no flat screen - same ol' TV monitor. If that wasn't bad enough, since the PC's been down for 2 days now, I got this tiny... TINY laptop to work on in the meantime... everyone else in my office has laptops AND docking stations - both having 17 inch screens... what's a girl to do.... oi.

I was so ill yesterday and so tired of it all, after I asked the senior engineer why I won't get a new PC too and he said that I have to "fight for it" ... I gave up, went home early, drugged with Panadol and ever so down. I cried and cried on my way home... I cried myself to sleep... fedup with the same treatment over and over... the last one - the one in which I lost all loyalty to the company - was when they got me the CD-Rom training rather than sending me to San Fran. for the actual "overseas" training. Mind you, this is all while everyone else in the department gets to go on overseas training (actually overseas!!) at least twice a year.

What is the lesson here?! I get that I have to learn something... but I guess the anger I hold is preventing me from seeing it for now... And I know that unless I let it go soon, I won't get to progress - either within this company or elsewhere.

I should get back to that backedup work I have...




*Zue swims into the flood of work leftover - perched over the tiniest laptop she's ever seen...*

Issues

Firstly - awwwwwwww.... that's me mom and big bro.... aww shucks now. That's when my mom came across for my graduation and big bro came for a couple days to visit us. Bremen city... miss those pigs (not the ones in the blue shirts :P).

Issues are hard to deal with, huh? I know I have one or two very major ones... and after a small meeting with a friend of mine yesterday, I realise that no matter how big you think yours is, other people have issues just as big (well, how can we compare, right?) to them. This chica - you can look at her and really think she should be the time to walk with her head high... confident, intelligent, sociable and on a great career track. But to her - those things fade to what she holds high to herself - race and skin-colour. Waw. Actually, those things that I listed (confident, etc...) - those are things that I esteem... and even that is relative. I mean, my priority scale is just that... mine. After talking with her, though she considers those things, apparently race and skin-shade is the most affecting factor. I've always known of things like this before, but never took it too much to heart. But now, as I compared my own issues that I'm currently battling with hers... we react in the same way - just the roots are different.

Issues yes... papayoi.

Hmm... lime later at my boss' apartment... can't wait. I'm inviting my sister as my "significant other" - I'd go by myself, but a girl here claims that she and her boyfriend can beat anyone at Scrabble... we'd see about that later....

Girl at work: Oh you better BRING IT

Sue: Honey, it's already been BROUGHT!

Audience: oooooh it's on!

We're gonna serve tonight.

I bounced my mom up at the grocery store last night - went shopping for 2 things - turned out to be more like 20 things. Anyways... I just passed by and shocked her "Hi mom"... she seemed so surprised... we need to talk soon... she's my mom, and we can't go on like this... it's been way too long. Anyways, what became of my grocery shopping spree? Lunch! Yesh yesh... I cooked! Baked chicken, Angel Hair (pasta, cheesy) pie, and veggies. Boi-aka.

Oh, the guy who had this (my) job before (the guy I took over from) told me about this job that someone asked him to recommend someone... at EOG Resources... I called the guy today to see what the updates were... nothing yet... World Cup halts alot more than we think. I'll keep praying and keep da blog posted (hehe... I love saying that here :) "I'll keep you posted"... hehehehehehehe - whew).

*Zu zooms off to her HOME-MADE lunch... with an oh too proud look on her face... oh puh-leez, Zu... grow up!*

Monthlies

Today has got to be the worst day... ever. More worser than my last worsest day. Firstly, as for the kid and tutoring him - that went horribly - that last day WAS our last day of study... anyways... we got over it.

Whatever.

I spent the second or third night in a row at my sister's place last night... we had so much fun together, initially... but I'm not a kid anymore, and I got used to my own space... started to feel a bit 'crowded' and disorganised... Anyways, so I get up to realise that I hadn't organised my work clothes - and so had to borrow my (3 feet shorter and smaller than I) sister's clothes... irritation numero uno. No shoes to match - oi. Anyways, I said I'd figure it out and started to look for my car keys to head on to work - late. Can't find them. Spent over 45 minutes looking around her apartment for these keys. Nada. Eventually found it near where I thought it would be - it just slid off the counter and into a basket of clothes nearby. Grrrr. Ready to head on out, I asked my sister to borrow her only pair of black closed-toe shoes - I couldn't - she needed them for her interview this morning. Ok, so that means I had to head home before heading to work. Wonderful. I was already half hour late for work - but nevermind.

This is all after yesterday....

Yesterday was before this weekend...

This weekend, I had to work - month end report due - I swear, these are worse than my female monthlies.... and sometimes they collide. Come to work to realise that some contractors were supposed to fax me a crucial to the report document... nada. Ok... so I would finish it on Monday...

Come to work, stuff already set up - ok, nicely, things are running. Whew. Issue report in good time... Proud. Not. There is an "accounting" error. Have to try to resolve it. Can't. At least not on my end, nor could it be something that can be done at this last minute. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Went over everything with some accountants, my boss... we came up with the only solution - to cut our production - make the entire company look horrible. Yep - that's my job.

Now, everyone wants to be the hero to save the day from big ol' Zuper, and actually, at this very moment, my boss, the MD, and the Financial Manager is having a meeting in the room next to mine. Oich.

Hello - my name is Zupa, and I'm a worry-a-holic.

Anyways... I'm sick of salad, tired of confusion, and love aerobics. I also adore my baby bro's recent remark:

"Roberto, you have Chicken pox?"

"No"

"Roberto?! You have Chicken Pox?!"

"Err... no"

"Roberto... you HAVE chicken pox!!!"

"Um, you.... YOU have Peacock?"

He hears what he wants to hear... love you, Doo doo.

Okie... bye.



*Zuper... goes to do something else... grumbling*